Why v shout in anger over eachother!!!! Just read somewhere

Why We Shout In Anger”

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled’n asked.

‘Why do people shout in anger at each other?’

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said,’Because we lose our calm, we shout.’

‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .

‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’

The saint continued,’When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper’n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other’n that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

He looked at his disciples and said.

‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’

Something for ladies as well....

1. Always seek out the best in him. Dwell on those things, not what you don’t like about him.

2. Have sex with him. Often. All the time if need be.

     i. Best advice received from an older woman on the eve of my wedding 12 years ago: Make love a lot, especially when you don’t feel like it. Making love is a balm, it covers and heals a lot of the wounds we inflict on one another in a marriage. When you feel like you just AREN’T close to your spouse, that’s the time to take off your clothes and GET close.. 

3. Seek counsel from older, wiser women who have succeeded in their marriages. It’s impossible to make good decisions when we’re emotional. And seeking counsel from your friends who are your own age isn’t as good as counsel from elderly women. 

4. Let him zone out. He is not ignoring you, men just have moments of brain freeze. 

5. It’s not your job to change or fix him. We are all on a journey.

6. Tell him how big/strong/smart/manly he is ALL THE TIME. They tend to forget. 

7. Never forget or take for granted that your man chose you. 

8. Laugh at his jokes. Even if they aren’t funny.

9. We are responsible for our reactions, no one else. We must take full accountability of our emotions and how we respond. And so must he. 

10. Make him that goddam sandwich.

11. Allow your man to just be. Be a comfort, be a gentle and giving spirit when the times call for it. 

12. Quit your bitching when he gets home, let him chill.

13. Love him in the way he needs it, not the way you assume he needs it. Find out your different love languages and be sensitive and ready to show him you love him in ways he understands best.

14. Make yourself look pretty. The more feminine you act the more it reminds him he is a man.

15. Be present. Give him your time and attention when he needs it. In my experience, during those times I did serve him, he over time, served me. 

16. Never talk about other men, even if they are fictional or movie, even if it’s to say “you are so much hotter than that guy” Most men already think they are, so this will confuse them. 

17. Be willing to have him sexually. Let him know you need his masculine presence, that you trust him fully. 

18. Never read advice on the internet from strangers. They probably don’t know you and will make you do stupid crap that will not be applicable or appropriate in your marriage… 

19. Give him space. He needs times to find his new self (we change constantly)  before he can give of himself.

20. By doing these things it would not mean a wife doesn’t expect her husband to be great too, or is to blame for the breakdown, just that she is doing her part to make a better half of a marriage.

21. Be vulnerable. Do not be afraid to share your fears and feelings. Men tend to know when we’re keeping things from them. And they know when we’re transparent. And, I can’t emphasize this more: acknowledge your mistakes. Say you’re sorry when you know you need to. 

22. Allow your husband to love you his way instead of comparing his expression of love to your own ideals. If you keep comparing, you may miss the most beautiful moments of tenderness.

23. Do not be afraid to be fully transparent. This builds great trust over time.

24. Don’t ever, ever, ever put your spouse down in public! He has to have someone that he knows will have his back. If you need to discuss something he did or said, do it in private. No one wants corrected in front of others. Once discussed and fixed, let it go!

25. Find common hobbies, goals and dreams. Also, find common ground in your faith. Never stop growing together. Laugh lots. Fall in love over and over again. 

26. Many times, we cannot connect or reconnect because we have created a version of them in our mind and hearts that justifies our own weakness. As long as we see them as the caricature we’ve created we cannot connect to them, because that caricature is not them. Own your feelings, own your results, meet your own needs, turn to a higher power for what you lack, and allow your higher power to make up for what pain your spouse will cause. Even the best human among us will cause another pain, it’s part of being human.

27. Don’t let financial issues come between you. 

28. Acknowledge and embrace each others pasts, it made you who you are. Speak up, talk about “it” when it happens instead of fighting about it a month later.

29. Forgive. Don’t let history hold you or your man hostage. 

30. Never underestimate the power of simply touching each other. Sometimes it can say what words can not.

31. Always, choose love. Love is action, not emotion. Don’t miss that.  

Let lead a happy married life... Lets manage it today for an happier tommorow

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

Holy month of Ramzaan or Ramadan

Ramzan or Ramadan is round the corner and it means different things to different people—prayers, fasting, feasting, holidays, charities, traffic, shopping, big movie releases.... The beauty is no matter how you look at it, it’s a time of joy and bonding with friends and families. Ramzan, above all, is a time for devotion towards the supreme being and unconditional surrender of our ego and attachments (including attachment to food) through prayers. Roza is not limited to fasting, it’s about overcoming temptation. I think it’s very important to remember that during Iftar. Iftar is not some wild party where you gorge on dates, fruits, chicken, mutton, phirni, kheer, bhujiya. It’s a time to nurture your appetite with devotion and sharing and so the common plate and prayers around it.

Below are a few pointers and meal options for Ramzan:

• Eat all your meals in peace and plan them in advance.
• At Sehri, have any fresh fruit or handful of dry fruits.
• Before Fajr, have a hot homemade breakfast.
• At Iftar, break your fast with dates/any fresh fruit/homemade fruit yogurt and sherbet.
• Post Maghrib, eat any homemade rice/roti + veggies + pulse/meat (no mixing of two meats at a time).
• After the big namaaz, have kaju milk/badam milk or any milk product like paneer/cheese.
• Over-indulging in the late evenings or iftar will not just dilute your concentration during prayers later but also leave you feeling gassy and constipated next morning.
• Keep yourself well hydrated (3-4 litres of water between Iftar and Fajr).
• So keep the feasting off if you want to keep the fat burning on.